i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
