...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
