i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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