so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
