Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You can't just leave with hair like that
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
