addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
