it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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