i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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