Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
