I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
