You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
