Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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