He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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