Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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