We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
