why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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