CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
