hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
