You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
worst night to have a conscience
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
