Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
