We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
