I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
