the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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