i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
