You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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