OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She even gives head with a lisp.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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