So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
