I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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