is your mom at the bar?
Screwed.edu
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
