rhymes with "ouble enetration"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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