this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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