Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.

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(516): View more from New York

There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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(416): View more from Ontario

i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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(865): View more from Tennessee

is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?

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(369): View more from California

I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this

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(623): View more from Arizona

Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

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(765): View more from Indiana

You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.

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