what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
