Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
