You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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