her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
