i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
