thus making me awesome and them whores
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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