dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
