9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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