He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
