I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize