Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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