I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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