There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize