The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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