Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
