took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize