he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I love you. Go after that dick
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