you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize