This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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