I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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