I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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