Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Vodka?
Forever.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
