it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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