Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
