What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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