its not stalking. its research.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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