I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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