Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
