Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
