I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
