At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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