instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
