I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
